Secular Parenting in a Religious World

I was raised in a Reformed Jewish home and my husband was raised in a Catholic family. 

We were engaged and looking to be married in a ceremony that was moving and meaningful.  We also were planning to start a family. Since we were both “religious cynics,” we were looking for something to believe in.  Neither of us wanted to join the neighborhood temple or church, although we visited a few. Although I believed in God at this time, in my mind, religion has created many, many more problems than it has solved. 

Most of the world’s wars are in the name of “God” or some other fanatic religious beliefs. History is filled with examples of too many gruesome deaths that have occurred in the name of religious belief.

Apparently I was a "Humanist" and I didn't even know it. Humanism, as defined by the American Humanist Association is “a progressive philosophy of life that, without theism and other supernatural beliefs, affirms our ability and responsibility to lead ethical lives of personal fulfillment that aspire to the greater good of humanity.” This quote is cited from the website.

I had never heard the word before I walked into the Ethical Humanist Society of Long Island. This place fit our needs perfectly. It was a congregational community that focuses on social action and ethical relationships. In addition, it was fortunate that we lived close to a Humanist society that already had a well-established children’s program. 

One of the adjunct leaders was happy to spend time with us, helping to pick excerpts and poetry that captured our feelings for this momentous occasion.  We had that meaningful ceremony we were seeking. Many of our friends still speak about how lovely our wedding ceremony was, even 15 years later. 

We joined the Ethical Humanist Society shortly after our wedding.  We entered a community of social, political and intellectual people.  Most importantly, we were members of a place where people worked purposefully toward a common goal; to make the world a better place for all people.  As our involvement grew, my family branched out to activities on the national level and we made many friends from ethical societies all over America.

 After our son was born, people’s questions and comments were quite telling.  Apparently, it was “ok” that we were in what most people considered an “alternative religion” while we were two married adults, but once I became pregnant people questioned our decisions. 

Specifically, one family member asked, “So, what are you two going to do now that you are having a baby?”  I replied, “We are already doing it!  We attend on Sunday mornings and our child will attend the secular, children’s Sunday program.” 

I believe that Humanism is the only truly “inclusive”  world view.  It is not my goal to convince theists to change their minds and become Atheists, another world view I have embraced.  My wish is that instead of concentrating on “whose God is the ONE,” we all would concentrate on helping our neighbors here and abroad. 

I wish more organizations would spend time teaching their children how to truly love, instead of teaching hatred of those whose belief systems are not the same.  We found that something we can truly believe in when we discovered Humanism.  No matter what your religious faith is, if you believe in the goal of “making the world a better place,” you are a Humanist, too.