While having my morning cup of coffee today, I heard a faint voice. Intriguing, it was almost child-like and coming from the refrigerator. Befuddled, I rose from the chair and opened the fridge door. The voice was now clearer and I did not have to strain to hear it. "Krissy, eat me." The alluring voice was coming from the 10 inch square, white cake box.
I looked around to make certain I was alone, even though I knew I was [alone.] I took the box and placed it on the kitchen table. Turning and opening the cutlery drawer, I got myself a fork. I slowly opened the top of the box and stared at the beautiful 7 layer, chocolate cake. It's moist layers were filled with creamy chocolate ganache and it was iced with Southern Chocolate Fudge Icing.
Oh, my! Writing this blog is making me salivate!
For a few seconds I debated whether or not to have a piece. Should I? Shouldn't I? How silly it felt to talk to myself. Looney Tunes! Finally, I actually rationalized why I SHOULD have a piece! Since I had not had any breakfast, would it not make sense to have something to eat now? This one piece of cake would be my morning meal! I mean, I needed to eat something..why not the cake? Using the side of my fork, it was easy to cut a good size piece and pull it away from the whole. It was an amazing sight. Each layer was the same width as all the others, and even though the piece I had cut with the fork had fallen sideways, the layers were rich enough to stay bonded to each other. What the hell are you doing, Krissy?! I shouted inside my head. I pulled my hand out of the box. I stared at the piece I had cut. I wondered how many steps I would have to climb, to burn off all the calories of that one piece of "YUM!" I couldn't do it. I shut the box quickly and with one swift swoop, the cake box was in the garbage receptacle. I was proud of myself! Even though, I really, really, wanted a piece (or two or three), I was able to say "No" to my inner child-like voice. Hey! You can't always get what you want!
As I tidied up the kitchen, I was very aware of the cake box that lay silent in the garbage. Suddenly, I remembered, George Costanza and the eclair episode of Seinfeld. How low could one get? Would I remove something from the garbage, and eat it?!! Could I?! Would I?! I refused to become George! I walked over to the receptacle, opened it, and placed my sneaker-ed foot on to the box. I smashed the hell out of it!! I twisted my foot, reaching all the corners of the white box.. so as to not leave ANY resemblance to what was known previously as chocolaty deliciousness !! What was once a cake "to die for" was now in smithereens!
When I shared my situation with my Facebook family, a little while later, most were proud of me! The best advice came from another TV show, about a similar situation. To be absolutely sure that you will NOT weaken, grab a spoon and eat the crumbled cake that still remains in the otherwise clean (but tossed) box, do this: Take your liquid dish soap and pour it on top of your cake/eclairs/cookies. This way, you will think twice about salvaging anything that has been tossed in with the garbage!!
A little note for you chocolate lovers..oops! I meant..trivia lovers..Marie Antoinette was NOT the one who said, "Let them eat cake." Referring to the peasants who had no bread to eat, it was written by a French philospher named Jean Jacque Rousseau. Peace.