A Reenactor Looks at Halloween Costumes

About five years ago I found an amazing pirate coat at one of the Halloween stores that grow like pumpkins in a patch in late September.  The cut and look of the fabric made it authentic looking, and at $45 it was a steal.  The following year I found an authentic looking pirate hat with feathers for $11, another steal.  So it became my Halloween tradition to travel around the Halloween supermarkets in search of the authentic at bargain prices.

It is with great disappointment that in recent years, I’ve returned to my home port with nothing.  The quality of pirate costumes and the shopping experience has gone way down.

I remember going to the costume shops and seeing a mixture of packaged costumes and costumes hanging on racks like clothes.  It was part of the fun of shopping to be able to try on that pirate coat, admire the shiny buttons, caress the fabric and see how piratey I looked in the mirror.  Now the stores are relying on sticking pictures on the wall and you tell a clerk what packaged costume you want or you just take the package off the rack.  Where’s the fun in that?

I realize that pirate costumes sold are for fun and there’s no expectation of historical accuracy. It’s more of a case of historical suggestion, but women’s costumes are just ridiculous.   With names like Pirate’s Hottie, Sexy Swashbuckler and  Treasure Chest most would feel more at home in a sex shop.  The basic female pirate costume in most cases is a ridiculously short skirt with an off the shoulder shirt where how shall I say this? -- the cups runnth over.  A Pirate Kit had a red lace garter. Accessories included pirate thigh high fish net stockings.

As bad as the women’s costumes were those aimed at girls was just as bad with names like Pretty Pirate Captain and Buccaneer Sweetie.  Pirates are not sweet!

Men’s costumes are mostly the standard stereotypes: a fluffy shirt with striped pants, with a vest, sash, or bandana thrown in.

Onto accessories.  Please skip the pirate tutu, how silly do you want to look?

The jewelry lacks imagination.  It’s all skull and crossbones.  Look in your jewelry box for some sparkly rings, earrings and necklaces.  Remember pirates stole their jewelry.  Do you think all their victims wore skull and cross bone jewelry?

Enjoy plundering on Halloween, but please skip the tutu!