Changed by 9/11: Anne Heuser, Nurse

My husband Ray and I had just put our oldest Sarah on the bus for kindergarten.

We sat together in the den and Ray held Raymond, our newborn, on his lap. I was on maternity leave and Ray was on vacation, so we started to plan our time together. Little did I know at that moment how much we had taken such days for granted!

The phone rang and it was my father-in-law. He told us to turn on the news right away; a plane had hit the World Trade Center. We both sat speechless and watched the replays of the crash, and then we saw the second plane hit. Ray called the firehouse and spoke to the officer covering him. I don’t remember the substance of the conversation, however, it was brief. My husband looked sadly down at our sleeping son and said to no one in particular: "It’s terrorists."

The rest of the morning is a blur but I remember the “total re-call” for FDNY. I remember my husband leaving to go in and not being quite sure what was ahead. I was terrified. There were cell phone outages and there were long periods of time I didn’t hear from him. We later found out that all but the chauffeur working in his firehouse that day had perished. It was a frightening realization for me that Ray too would have been gone if he had not been on vacation.

A decade later, as I write this and remember, there is still a place in my soul that is raw and in mourning. Though the losses of lives on that day and those that have followed as a result are obvious, there are hidden losses as well; some of these wounds are only visible to those who lived and only technically survived.

As a result of this experience, each moment is more precious. Time spent with those I love, is invaluable, and finally? No day will ever be just "ordinary" to me again.