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Health & Fitness

The Gratefulness of Thanks-Getting

If you really cannot find anything to be thoughtful and thankful about this glorious holiday season, welcome to the Hokey Pokey Hotline, the place to contact to turn yourself around!

Recently, the distinguished and diligent editor of the East Meadow Patch sent out a request asking some of the local residents and business owners “What they are Thankful For this holiday season, which I thought was nice.

He personally and painstakingly perused the phenomenal remarks and picked those that were prime and paramount for his published article. I, on the other hand, felt perturbed and piqued that his polling was not populous enough, which provoked me into posing the same prose to my peers at the pub and these were the particular and peculiar responses that I received on these little bar napkins that were handy (followed by my thankfully often sarcastic, but not malicious thoughts in regard to these unparalleled retorts.) 

How would you finish this sentence? This holiday season I am personally thankful for...

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  1. The  Salad Special at my favorite restaurant on Hempstead Turnpike.
  2. That Kate Murray got re-elected (I think we have heard enough from the Murray family, now get back to work!)
  3. That this winter we have as much accumulated snow as my child’s snow globe has. (Which probably happened because you bought that new snow blower at Home Depot in October).
  4. The sudden rise in the job market. (I have been holding in my need for economic recovery for so long, that I am beginning to get severe bladder cramps).
  5. “The fact that my son was accepted into law school, because his teaching career has been stalled for years. (Teachers do what trial lawyers do, only with less pay, more judges and a much tougher jury!)
  6. My alone time watching football on my new 60 inch LCD TV. ( Some guys spend so much time in their Man Caves that they have stalactites growing above their lounge chairs).
  7. The fact that I do not need to rely on mistletoe. (That might be because you have Moves Like Jagger...with a bad case of athlete’s foot)
  8. My faith and the fact that there was a recent update to our religious prayers and ceremonies. (However I hear that the use of OMG is still not acceptable in houses of worship).
  9. Being able to sit and relax and read the NY Times. (Better known as Dissecting the Entrails of the Government!)
  10. That the NFL was able to come to terms with the players to save their season. (Football Team owners have minds like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone).
  11. The fact that 80 is the new 65 (We talking age here or the new speed limit?)
  12. That I did Not have to accompany my dressed up wife to the midnight showing of the new Twilight movie. (But the fact that she went with you to a freezing cold Jets game and watched you go shirtless with a big T painted on your chest, that was okay?)
  13. The fact that aliens have never landed in NYC (Dude, when was the last time you went to a Jankee game?)
  14. My new Fossil watch, My new I-phone (I guess she is easily distracted by new, shiny objects).
  15. For the next Pint that you are gonna buy me. (Thirsty days hath September, April, June and November).

I hope this was entertaining, engaging and erudite. And if You have something special and personal that you are thankful for please feel free to let me know. (And not so I can just poke some harmless fun at it. I reserve that for happy hour now that the NBA games on TV look like The New Charlie’s Angels). Tee-Hee!

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