A bunch of my regular blog readers have recently commented on the seriousness of my last few blogs and contacted or spoke to me about going back, here and there, to the ones of "lighter fare" that normally round out my blogs.
Others say that these particular blogs can appear like a hodge podge of comments and tough to follow. While the bulk seem to have absolutely no problem with them, I think in this case I'll appease the lion's share. So here goes.
The other day I was at a local bar watching the new NBA sensation in action known as Jeremy Lin. This guy has singlehandedly LIN-spired the New York Knicks organization, the NBA and fans all over as well teammates in a positive way.
He has been around for two seasons in the pros, but now he is the phoenix, rising from the ashes. The ESPN announcer interviewed Houston Rockets General Manager Daryl Morey who stated emphatically that he greatly regrets letting go of Lin.
"We should have kept him. Did not know he was this good," they said that Morey wrote on his official Twitter account a few weeks prior." Anyone who says they knew misleading you."
Earlier in the preseason, Lin was released by the Golden State Warriors, who now also say they regret their foolhardy decision. And he almost got cut from the Knicks, had divine whatever you call it had not come into play. This really had me thinking, not about Super-Lin or even pro basketball, but about making decisions that you lament. Its psychological classification is the “Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda Syndrome.”
I think that the word “Regret” is probably one of the worst words in the English language. Regret is being upset over some action or inaction in hindsight. Yes, I know that each person probably has some. I hate that particular word because there is almost nothing you can do about it now, other than feeling remorse. Some can repent or offer an apology. Nothing can reverse its effect. You can try something referred to as damage control if you want. What is done is done.
Plus you have no real definite foolproof idea what would have occurred had you chosen to do something different than you did or said. No sure way to know it would have been better had you taken a different path. The best way to try to avoid regret is to weigh all your available options and make an informed decision BEFORE you act hastily, and one that might best benefit all involved. This way, looking back you will be able to say to yourself, “Self, I am pleased with the way I decided to handle this, no matter what the outcome”.
Sometimes regret may be unavoidable, especially when there is a time constraint. A clicking clock can cause for a spontaneous decision that often can go awry. Impromptuness also restricts your information with which to base your conclusion for a beneficial outcome. Lately I find this to be inescapable, especially when it comes to your children, close friends and sports. For example:
- My son called me on my cell phone and asked me to get him an iPad and somehow I guess I misunderstood. I went to CVS and came back with an eye-pad. I guess I thought he had a sty.
- Allowing kids to scrimmage outdoor lacrosse in August as “shirts versus skins.”
- I bought a pair of distressed jeans for my son at the mall on sale and whenever he wore them specifically, all I heard was whining and incessant complaining.
- Lollygagging has nothing to do with your child choking on a Tootsie Pop and the phrase can greatly confuse most registered nurses.
- Allowing your best friend to date a stripper named “Shelitta Buffet”(pronounced Buff-ay).
- Encouraging my son to cease being a hunter/gatherer and become a browser/purchaser instead.
- Thinking that “agreeing to wait momentarily for a parent to drop off their child for sports practice” did not mean 1,842 moments.
- Not helping your buddy to drink Canada Dry. You might not succeed, but it can be an amazing road trip.
It seems that the emotion of regret is only associated with humans. Animals don’t seem to regret things, maybe because they go by instinct and self-preservation. Mostly people regret more about the things we did do, than the things we did not do.
I bet I get a comment or two about how someone regrets reading this blog. Just understand that no one has a time machine or crystal ball yet, that is accurate enough to know what would be, had you taken the other fork in the road.