New Year's Restitutions

Now that our most fervid part of our 2011 holidays is over, it is time to concentrate on 2012.

While most Long Islanders think that Yule means something someone else does at the holiday time to other people as in “YULE be laying off another 50 employees after the first of the year, right?”

That Tinsel is a precious element like gold and platinum that can be sold at all the Pawnshops popping up on every block from one end of Hempstead Turnpike to the other. Also with winter storms are just around the corner, many East Meadow residents are afraid to cross the street for fear for getting run over as they leave that corner.

I have found that holiday ridiculousness abounds and calmer heads are on vacation. That while bringing Sonic the Restaurant to East Meadow, may be a good thing in the long run, some people would sooner bring Sonic the hedgehog here to avoid the eventual traffic Armageddon.

At holiday times cooler heads never prevail. For example, the only thing worse than dressing up your dog as an elf, may not be dressing up your car as a reindeer. If you do not want to miss out on a sale item, then mace the competition. What we need now, is a combined focus on how to fix what we allowed our previously elected nincompoops to borrow, bend and break.

Seeing as how we have this huge down turn in our local economy, I think it would be best if our obsession returned to our depression about our recession and how to find a cure. Building another strip mall on the corner of Newbridge Road with all the other stores along the route that are unoccupied is NOT an answer. It's as silly and as absurd as the other suggestions as listed below.

• Gov. Cuomo will offer free SUNY College tuition... with the purchase of $15,000.00 in textbooks from Barnes and Noble.
• Walt Disney World in Florida will offer LI residents a free one night stay and will change the Swiss Family Robinson Foreclosed Tree house to.... Pocahontas’ “Colors of the Wins” Resort and Casino.
• The Apple Genius Bar will now apply for a permit to serve alcohol, have Happy Hour on Friday nights and offer free Geek 'n' Nerd Speed Dating on Wednesday evenings.
• Donald Trump will be building two new LI hotels for those in need of low-income housing. They are on Park Place and Ventor Ave. on his Monopoly board and will be acquired by selling off Water Works to the Suffolk County Parks Department.
• Cablevision will be selling AMC Cable TV “Walking Dead” memorabilia and spare human body parts for transplant and bumper stickers like “Drive like a Zombie, Have a Brain!” to their subscribers
• The New York Jets will change their name to the New Jersey Radiation, in hopes that terrorists will try to steal their new mascot instead.
• Mayor Bloomberg, who knows that LI residents are having a hard time filling their refrigerators, will allow people in Times Square to begin living inside their unplugged and unfilled refrigerators instead.
• Proctor And Gamble will start a program that instead of clipping product coupons...you can begin eating them instead.
• Unused Sunday Newsday’s newspapers will be donated free to the homeless in Nassau County Parks, because they are much thicker and warmer to sleep under than the miniscule weekday versions.

I know that due to our financial entrenchment many LI adult children are living with their parents. However, when the parents are the cusps of living in the backseat of their car, that’s up on cinder blocks in the street and the adult kids are going to be forced into living in the front seat or trunk, things need to be fixed fast. It's quickly becoming a policy of- less trailer parks and more moving vans. Which is a shame.

There needs to be some viable, current ideas of stimulation, growth and savings that could be floating by, on the Tsunami of financial tides that beckons from the Queens border to our Montauk shores. And our current officials need to get away from dropping the ball and get on the ball, instead.        

With actual progressive changes and plans for the upcoming New Year of 2012 we can go back to ending our future story with “and they lived Happily Ever After.”