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Health & Fitness

Generation Gaps with Gaping Holes

The things that you think you hear as you meander around a social gathering can make your hair stand on end and almost set your socks on fire sometimes. Let me 'splain.

This past week I invited some of my East Meadow PAL fifth and sixth grade youth lacrosse players  to visit and view a practice session with the Long Island Lizards at Hofstra Stadium.

The Long Island Lizards are the metro NY professional outdoor lacrosse team (not to be confused with Rochester, which is also in NY). They are to the sport of lacrosse, what the Yankees are to baseball or the Knicks are to basketball. And for kids that love lacrosse that have experienced very little, but heard a lot... this is an awesome experience.

Many of these pro lacrosse guys are Long Island born and bred. And in certain circles these players are as revered as names like Mantle, Harrelson, Jordan, Shaq, Woods, or Unser even though they grew up in parks and sandlots in Nassau and Suffolk counties. Many of these players are fresh out of  four years in the NCAA spotlight and with ESPN and MSG having 12 cable sports stations between them, to the right youth group, these guys are worshipped liked rockstars.

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The only difference is that unlike the guys  I mentioned by name before and the others that play the four top pro sports, most  these guys have regular jobs and do their “Pro Sport” in addition to that. It is amazing to think that a pro athlete spends Monday through Friday in a classroom, in a courtroom as a lawyer (not a defendant like many footballers),  in an operating room, in a car dealership, in an airline cockpit or in a laboratory; can be a tough concept to wrap your head around...especially seeing as how they still have to go to the gym, team practices , product endorsement seminars, and have family obligations to boot.

After practice some of the members of the team, coaching staff, support staff, interns and grounds crew decided to go someplace local to have our ID’s checked by a guy that is more “jacked” than most of the members of our team and be served nosh by females that could be NCAA athletes themselves. They decided that we would meet at a place on Hempstead Turnpike somewhere between Nassau Coliseum and  the U-Haul Center , which narrows it down to about 5 places that serve alcohol , food and an abundance of satellite TV programs. 

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Some of these have admission fees like a concert or movie theater and seem like to cater to high school kids instead of their parents. And I would have preferred to go to one of my regular spots well East and South of there, but eventually we found the place that was agreed upon. It was a nice place with an eclectic mix of adults ranging in age from college senior to senior citizen. Which was semi busy on a week night on what I thought was a weak night.  

But what struck my silly bone was the comments I overheard made by the patrons, over the noise of the various Plasma screens, as I meandered from band to bunch to huddle to clique along the bar area.

Things like, “why is it called a coat of nail polish if it so light that you need to put another on top of it while you drive to work! Why not call it a jacket?” or “Dude, the only time I touch my feminine side is to push my butt away from the salad bar part of the buffet and closer towards seared and roasted meat areas” or “Full price is the “F” word to my mother!” were being said in the most serious of fashion and not only by people that “GTL*” often.  

Now I know that there is a huge generation gap, especially when it comes to vocabulary and speech. My dad wore trousers , while I wear pants and my son wears jeans. My dad used a valise , while I use a suitcase and my son uses a rolling duffle. My dad yelled, while I scream and my son hollas back, ya’ll. But when someone overheard  that night says, “gas prices being up, means less drivebys and cappin’ in the "hood."  I have to get out my “Lil' Wayne Dictionary” to translate.

However the most intelligent thing I heard all night came from two elderly men a bit older than me. One said, “Out of thirtyfour developed nations’ high school students, US students ranked twelfth in reading, seventeenth in science and history and 25th math.”  And the other responds with, “But they were first in donating money to survivors in other developing countries that had natural disasters!! So where is the problem?” I Guess that particular outlook, is what makes a great professional sports coach!  

*GTL stands for “gym , tan, laundry”  and is big with people who religiously watch “Jersey Shore” and the "Snookie Doo Gang."

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