All Things Considered

While my wife was away in Georgia, I recently found myself in a new East Meadow eatery during Restaurant Week with some co-workers and athletes from the world of Non-famous professional sports (Lacrosse, Soccer, Roller Derby, Wrestling and MMA).

During this gathering, which involved alot of food and an assortment of alcoholic beverages, we became immersed in a conversation that bordered on the surreal.

It stemmed from the question of "What recent occurance made you consider the fact that you don't think like a normal person?"  

The following was a list of what we discussed (OK, to the best of my 110 proof memory).

Is it considered a triple threat if you drive your Chevy Sonic into a Sonic Restaurant while your child plays Sonic the Hedgehog video game on his Nintendo DS?

Is it considered possible that smoking can SAVE your life? (Just ask the 22 year old Hempstead man whose Bic lighter deflected a bullet faster than Captain America’s shield).

Is it considered politically correct to refer to your 20-30 year old child that now resides in your finished basement apartment as a BDO*?

*Basement  Dwelling Offspring

Is it considered naive to think that people cheat on the regents exams, cheat on the AP Exams, cheat on the SAT Exams, cheat on the ACT Exams, to get into a great College or University. But that people will Not cheat on their Hofstra, Towson, Yale, Syracuse, St. Johns or Brown University On Line classes which will allow them to Now be 100 percent truthful on their resume in regards to their degree, mount their prestigious diploma on their office wall for potential clients to see and not get fired after 12 years on the job for fudging it? (We are not talking a diploma from the University of Phoenix On line University here people).

Is it considered excessive if you think the commandment of “thou shalt not lie” applies to napping in a hammock?

Is it considered silly to try to figure out which "L" is silent in the name Lloyd?

Is it considered a threat to Homeland Security if an individual has more than 3 aliases? (How about an elderly grey haired woman who goes by the names Rita, Honey, Ms. Ruiz, Mom, Ma , Grandma, Meema and Bubbie?)

Is it considered weird if your editor belongs to the "Beer of the Month Club" and wears a shirt that says "Alcohol...It's not just for breakfast anymore?"

Is it considered REALLY annoying and dismissive if your child asks you what a particular word means and you say, "Well look it up in the Dictionary!" (or is it that you don’t know what effluvium means either and are too embarrassed to admit it?)

Is it considered illogical to think that Bruce Jenner has actually become a male version of A Stepford Wife?

Is it considered obnoxious to start a sentence with "With all due respect..." only because you do not intend on be respectful for the content in the rest of the sentence? 

So, what have you pondered recently over a beer or three?