A True Source of Embarrassment

The other day we were at a local new East Meadow restaurant having a family dinner out and I noticed one my son’s close friend's younger brother there as their bus boy.

Now I have known this neat and sweet young man and his family for years. We even attended his Bar Mitzvah a few short years ago, which got me to thinking and through a bit more investigating (which is actually asking my Wikipedia-like wife) realized that today was his birthday.

So, at the end of OUR meal, I asked our waitress to call him over and began to sing “Happy Birthday” to him in a loud karaoke type voice. As the other patrons and employees realized what was happening, they all joined in.

My son, on the other hand, stated emphatically, “Dad Behave!” and tried to slink under the table and out of sight.

Me? Behave? I am as extroverted as they come. I was not voted class clown. That title was given to Kenny Solomon, who would run around shop class with a ketchup packet and fake being injured. I,on the other hand, was voted, "most likely to be funny enough to have the entire class laugh so hard that soda or other liquids would spurt out their lips and noses... including the teachers, administrators and staff."

But seriously, I am a product of my youth. As a child I saw Tarzan strolling naked except for a tiny, wet nap sized loin cloth and never called his adopted son by name. The boss (Skipper) would hit his employee (Gilligan) when things went awry. Cinderella arrived home after midnight. Flip Wilson dressed up like a woman. Wile E. Coyote would drop anvils off of cliffs onto active roadways. Pinocchio told lies. The Three Stooges would hit each other with pipes, shovels, hammers and cream pies constantly. Batman drove, with a youth in the car over 200 miles an hour. Snow White lived in a house with seven much older men. Popular songs were titled- “I Get Around”, “Born to be Wild”, “Under the Boardwalk”, “Wild Thing” and “Run Around Sue.”

Almost each day of the week, someone was shot and killed on Bonanza, Rat Patrol, Rawhide, The Rifleman and Gunsmoke, but next week show up on one of those other shows. Ed Sullivan’s pet male mouse- Topo Gigio would ask Ed for a kiss on the lips at the end of the night. Aladdin was a thief. Superman changed his clothes in a phone booth on a public city street corner. “Sock it to Me” was a popular catchphrase.

Jeannie slept in an old bottle. Popeye smoked a pipe, had many tattoos and his friend Whimpy would borrow money and never pay it back. And in later years, Pac-Man ran all over listening to sardonic digital music, eating pills that enhanced his performance, so he could score big.

So all in all when it comes to the proper time for being embarrassed by a parent it is not when a teenager is dropped off at school, picked up from sports practice or attending the same movie at the same theater. It is when I am wearing a Pink Gorilla suit while doing those things.